Hi ,
In concern of the available vacancy and recruitment in place at your end, I am forwarding here with my updated resume as attachment. Please do the needful .
During my tenure at your organization I can be proved as the best suitable employee as I possesses qualities of
- A Strong Candidature with excellent problem solving skill
- Strong verbal and written communications skills (both inter and Intra Official)
- Professional attitude and Self motivated with strong work ethics of a self starter
- Demonstrated ability to work effectively as a team member as well as individual contributor.
- Strong technical experience sufficient to administer and configure test environments.
- Thorough at concepts.
Please do the needful for the ongoing recruitment in your esteemed organization and revert me with any relevant feedback.
Regards

This can’t be real?
Yup – just got it from a candidate this morning. Fresh and hot off the presses of horribleness.
Thanks for a smile
No problem. I’m considering starting a correspondence with him/ her. It could be like Griffin & Sabine, only extra-hilarious.