You Won’t Get the Job That Way

…here are some great tips by Renita Benjamin on the fundamentals of an interview. Still amazed that people don’t follow these basic rules…

What I’m Looking for in a Software Engineering Candidate

We’re doing some hiring in our engineering group.  Incredibly cool stuff happening here: complete rebuild of our our core platform, live apps, UI.  Re-architecting it all in Java (we’ve been a C#/.Net & C++ shop until now).  Taking our UI, and making it hugely interactive, yet elegantly simple.  Developing new metaphors for search.  And, more that we’re not public with yet.

We’re going to need software engineers with chops in Java for both our Core platform (semantic, AI, rocket-science type stuff), and Web Dev team (that beautiful UI I mentioned, plus major changes to our apps, and more to come). Lots of interesting problems, in other words.

It’s kind of like building the technology for a start-up, front to back, but at a place that’s already profitable, and has 5 million unique visitors per month (instant eyes-on your work – cool!)

We want you to come help us figure it out.

So, this is an opportunity.  A hell of an opportunity.  Let me repeat: an absolute (cover your kids eyes) mutha-fuckah of an opportunity.  Every software engineer in & around Boston should be clawing their way to get in here.  And, we’re getting some traction around that.

But here’s the thing: we want the best.  I figure it’s fair: best software engineering opportunity in Boston, possibly one of the best in the country, deserves the best software engineers.

No more or this “contributed to”, “supported”, “implemented” crap on your resumes.  I want you to brag.  Say “Architected & built from the ground up”.  “Led team to glory”.  “Researched and championed the use of [insert name of esoteric but cool technology here], which led to rapid scaling of…”

You get the idea.  Be amazing.  Don’t be some also ran, mostly worked as a consultant, never showed initiative.  Stun us.  We’ll give you work to do that you’ll thrive on.

I mean, think about it: this has been a Microsoft shop, and now we’re free.  But, the team’s light on Java – you’ll be the man/woman.  Major resource, cool cat, all of it.  Get yer ass over here, before somebody else does.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Don’t Be a Stalker

Seriously.  There’s a line between getting noticed, and getting blocked.  If you’re right for the job, and you do the right things to get your resume/ blog/ whatever in front of the right person, they’ll call you.  If you know they’ve seen your information, and you don’t get the call – well, all the repetitive e-mailing/ insisting on “networking over coffee”/ yada-yada isn’t going to change the fact that you’re not right for the job.

What it will do is burn you into the memory of the people you’ve harassed – in a bad way.  If/ when a job comes up that you’d actually be a fit for, you won’t get called.  You might get slapped with a restraining order, but you won’t get called….

Right now, there are a lot of people – understandably desperate and scared, and I feel for them – who are going overboard.  They’re spamming every opening they can find, applying & reapplying for the same jobs, calling and insisting they’re a direct fit, etc.   This is a true story from a friend of mine, that I’ve modified: “I’m perfect for this job!” (despite the fact that it’s in Miami, and the dude lives in Duluth, and requires an in-depth knowledge of selling social networking tools) “But, I use Twitter, that qualifies me!”.  Then, he called my friend the next week.  And the next.  And… you get the picture.

Here’s a secret: recruiters talk.  A lot.  Mostly to each other.  Don’t get known as a stalker.  That said: if you’re good, but not a fit, we talk. A lot. To each other.  If we know of someone good we can’t hire, and hear that one of our buddies is looking for someone like that, we’ll pass that person’s name along.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

Good Advice on Your Job Hunt

And, not from me – which may make this the most effective post on this blog.  I’m a fan of Jason Alba.  He took the whole “get serious about your job search” to a whole new level, and a company was born from those efforts (neat trick, by the way, Jason).  Jason’s got a great point to make in his latest blog post about job-search being a full-time job in and of itself.

I will say that this post is geared towards the out of work – I know Jason (dad of 4, annnnd: WTf were you thinking, man???) can sympathize with the fact that if you’re a working parent, there’s no way in hell you can shoehorn in 40 more hours for your search.  My advice there would be to expect your search to take longer in terms of weeks/ months, but just be grateful for that steady paycheck – makes you part of an increasingly elite percent.

Blogged with the Flock Browser

I Am Trying to Break Your Heart

Honest.  Every resume that comes in, I’m looking to reject.  Let me repeat: I am trying to break your heart rule you out.  It’s not that I don’t like you – I have no reason to feel one way or another for you (unless you send me presents – there’s a chance that may change my opinion).  The sad fact is: we’re flooded with applicants right now.  I say sad, because I feel for you (a little – I’m not all that nice, so take that as a big deal).  It’s very hard to get noticed in a time like this, and any little mistake will probably cost you an interview.

Like: the 13 page resume I just got from a software engineer with 5 years of experience (and, no, it’s 5 – despite your claim otherwise, I’m not counting that two year gap you left off your resume).  I don’t care if you’re Obama post saving the world (or, grinding it under your heel – either way it’s gonna be a ride).  You don’t need a 13 page freaking resume.  My dad, with his PhD’s and papers and books and all that crap, kept it to 5, and that was only for conferences and stuff where he had to puff his academic chest out a bit.

Oh, and, if you send your resume to a friend to review (highly recommended, btw) – make sure you click “Accept all changes” after they mark it up with red lines and crap.  Don’t send it to me like that.  FAIL.

Lose is spelled “l-o-s-e”.  Not “l-o-o-s-e”.  Spell Check is not your friend.  Old, classic trick of proofreaders (of which I am gleefully not one): Read your resume backwards.  By that, I mean literally – start with the last word in it, and read right to left, bottom to top.  If you read it naturally it will flow and your sneaky, sneaky eyes will play tricks on you.  Going backwards foils those bastards.

Include a cover letter.  Understand that a cover letter is more than: “This sounds interested – I’m in!”

Don’t fall for my damned tricks: Just because I write in this (some would call it “cheeky”) style, and my job postings area  bit, mmm, left of center, doesn’t mean your cover letter should resemble a love note (seriously – I just got one of those: FAIL).  It needs to either brilliantly straddle the line between boring and “I’d love to drink with that guy, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting him in the building”, or be a basic professional “here’s why you want to hire me” kind of thing.

Don’t expect to land an interview in this economy if you’re not a dead-on fit for a job. Now is not the time to change careers – sorry.  I wish it was always that time, and we could all fly and be free to be you and me, but when firms are laying off and only filling strategic roles they get really, really picky.  Think about it: they make a decision to lay off.  They do so.  They still have some skills that are missing, and none of their former employees had.  Is it fair to the people that got fired if the company then hires somebody else who: “doesn’t have quite your desired skill-set, but I am eager to learn and this is a field I’ve always found fascinating, and my background as a high school gym teacher and private investigator makes me an ideal fit for a software engineering role”  (I wish, wish the last bit of that quote wasn’t direct….)?

(Btw: to my subscribers – those of you who are left – I”M BAAAACK!!! Sorry for the hiatus, life/ work/ insert lame excuses here got in the way.  Oh, screw it: I blame Santa).

And now, for something completely diferent: http://fuckyoupenguin.blogspot.com/