So You Want to Be Our Marketing Director…

….huh-zah.

Seriously: I’m not being snide.  That’s fantastic.

So, why?

Why?

WHY???

Why did you apply?

Like the other 400+ people.

Most of them talented writers.

Put together one hell of a cover letter.  (Many of them referring to how they “don’t just think outside of the box: they live outside of it”  That’s a quote.  From about a dozen different applicants.  The box apparently got too full.)

When they did address it, it was “To Whom it May Concern.”  Or something equally personal.

Attached their resume.

Wondered why we never called.

You shouldn’t have applied.

None of them should have.

What you should have done (or, will do – that’s a hint, hombre) was to market yourself.

If a sales person doesn’t close me in an interview, they don’t get the job.

If an engineer can’t work (logically) through a problem, they don’t get the job.

If a marketer doesn’t market themselves for a job… well, you know…

The person who gets this plumb (hey, nothing more fun than reworking a brand and making it sing) job is the same person who has marketing in their DNA: it would never occur to them to just shoot in a resume and pray.  No matter how clever you write your cover letter, so did somebody else.  And somebody else.  And….

They’ll approach this the same way they would any campaign: research their target audience, figure out their pain points, and then come up with a clever got-the-recruiter-talking-about-them-at-the-coffee-machine approach.

 Because that’s the job.  Prove you can do it from the start.  Don’t just (e)mail it in.  Innovate a little, for gods’ sake.

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Aww, c’mon…

 

“Enclosed is my resume for the Electrical Engineering intern position. I have a keen interest in the field of  Embedded System & VLSI Design , Research and Development and Testing , your company being one of the pioneer companies in this field would help me to expand my knowledge and use my current skills to serve your company in a better way.”

At least make a stinking effort…. And: no.  We do not have an internship opening for an electrical engineer.  And, no: we are not one of the pioneer companies in “the field of  Embedded System & VLSI Design , Research and Development and Testing”  I’m not even sure what that means…

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Okay, Look…

…if the job requirements include: Semantic Java, Hibernate, etc.  And the company is: a Web 2.0 business information engine that’s created (and is creating more) highly disruptive products.  And the team we’re looking to hire for: is our Core development team, which focuses on natural language processing, artificial intelligence, and information integration.

And you are: an embedded software engineer with a PhD in electronics, and a Masters in signal processing and controls.

Then, you can’t claim in your cover letter that your: “working experience closely matches the position requirements.”

Here’s the thing.  If this cat had made a strong, thought out pitch about how his work experience was in any way relevant, it’s not out of the realm of possibility he would get considered by some companies.  Not here, because we honestly need directly relevant experience for this critical hire, but a larger organization might have thought “hmm, smart guy, can communicate – and, it never would have occurred to us from his resume, but yeah, that project he did is relevant to what we do…”

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What I’m Looking for in a Software Engineering Candidate

We’re doing some hiring in our engineering group.  Incredibly cool stuff happening here: complete rebuild of our our core platform, live apps, UI.  Re-architecting it all in Java (we’ve been a C#/.Net & C++ shop until now).  Taking our UI, and making it hugely interactive, yet elegantly simple.  Developing new metaphors for search.  And, more that we’re not public with yet.

We’re going to need software engineers with chops in Java for both our Core platform (semantic, AI, rocket-science type stuff), and Web Dev team (that beautiful UI I mentioned, plus major changes to our apps, and more to come). Lots of interesting problems, in other words.

It’s kind of like building the technology for a start-up, front to back, but at a place that’s already profitable, and has 5 million unique visitors per month (instant eyes-on your work – cool!)

We want you to come help us figure it out.

So, this is an opportunity.  A hell of an opportunity.  Let me repeat: an absolute (cover your kids eyes) mutha-fuckah of an opportunity.  Every software engineer in & around Boston should be clawing their way to get in here.  And, we’re getting some traction around that.

But here’s the thing: we want the best.  I figure it’s fair: best software engineering opportunity in Boston, possibly one of the best in the country, deserves the best software engineers.

No more or this “contributed to”, “supported”, “implemented” crap on your resumes.  I want you to brag.  Say “Architected & built from the ground up”.  “Led team to glory”.  “Researched and championed the use of [insert name of esoteric but cool technology here], which led to rapid scaling of…”

You get the idea.  Be amazing.  Don’t be some also ran, mostly worked as a consultant, never showed initiative.  Stun us.  We’ll give you work to do that you’ll thrive on.

I mean, think about it: this has been a Microsoft shop, and now we’re free.  But, the team’s light on Java – you’ll be the man/woman.  Major resource, cool cat, all of it.  Get yer ass over here, before somebody else does.

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Irony

I don’t know why this is, but I’ve lost track of how many candidates make grammar and/ or spelling mistakes in the very sentence where they’re describing their excellent communication skills. 

I have excellent communication skills and with my diverse skills I think I am fit for this job.
 

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