So. Posted a few ads recently, and good lord what a response. People like us – well, that or they’re trying to figure out why my ads are so off-center. Maybe they figure there’s going to be an opening for a recruiter here at ZoomInfo soon.

So, got a pile – honestly, well over two hundred applicants in 36 hours. So, consider this an active case study.

I’ve got this stack in front of me that I need to weed-whack my way through, not to mention about a trillion other things coming at me. I’m looking to cut as I go. So, here are a couple of things that I really, really thought were obvious no-no’s, yet seem to come up constantly:

  • The first person resume – there’s no “I” in resume. Okay, there is a “me” in resume. And in meatpie (apologies to Shaun of the D)
  • Don’t put yer fracken picture on your resume. Unless you’re going for a modeling/ acting gig. Just weird otherwise
  • If you took some time off after your last job- or between them – don’t go on about what you were up to if it’s purely personal (“took some time off to find myself” “enjoyed quiet time in the garden” “sledding the Iditarod” – wait, that last one’s kind of cool, keep it)
    • Just call the gap “consulting” like everyone else does, and mention it really, really briefly if it comes up in the interview – and then, spin it: “I had put in 60+ hours for about a year at my last role, and had some money put aside. When the assignment ended, it was the perfect time for me to do some consulting work, as well as catch up on some new technologies/ trends/ whatever. ” Make the time seem useful as it relates to the person you’re talking to – they may love gardening, but does your skill with a hoe really make you a better employee? Not unless you’re interviewing at a farm.
  • If you only have Wordpad to create your resume on your PC- don’t. Don’t, don’t don’t. Go to the library, an internet cafe, borrow your mom’s computer, whatever.
  • Typos. Semi-okay in an intro e-mail, fairly unforgivable in a resume. This is something you’re supposed to have put some thought into. What the typo says is that if this is the best you can do for yourself, you can expect worse from me as an employee

Okay, enough ranting. I have a stack to get through here. Hey, look, another picture…